Wednesday, March 5, 2008

The Repetitive Three-Dimensional Blues

I am having some problems with the ceramics class, emotionally and mentally. How do I work in three dimensions? It's really, really hard for me to wrap my head around it, so to speak. I don't know what to make, I don't know how to make what I want to make, and just the whole concept of being on a time limit is very, very intimidating. I am sure I've written about this before.

However, the worst part of this all is that next week is my mid-term review and I feel like I am so, so far behind and so, so lost. I am afraid he will sit down with me and say, you aren't doing enough work, and the work you are doing doesn't feel cohesive. And I will say, I am so totally lost, three dimensions is so, so hard for me, and clay is completely foreign to me! There is nothing more different from linoleum-cut printmaking than clay! And I will want to say, also you aren't very approachable and I need help help help! The one time I approached you, you brushed me off, and so I have been trying to go alone and have been terribly, terribly uninspired.

I have been worried about this since Sunday, when I tried to go to the studio but got sidetracked due to the easily-distracted mindset of being uninterested, and then the same thing happened on Monday, and now I am avoiding it even more.

I almost just want to make a bunch of super-abstract slabs, like simple silhouettes and then glaze them and just do that. I have no idea what to do. I am so lost. I guess it's good that I will have the mid-term review soon so I can tell him in person that I am so lost and uninspired and unmotivated. Maybe I will go to the junk store tomorrow and pick up some things with interesting textures and try to build some clay off of that. I don't know - I am grasping at straws here!

Blah blah blah. I am feeling negative today because this is day 7 of my cold, I haven't been sleeping well and now I have to cancel my volunteering tomorrow (you can't go to the cancer clinic with a cold). BLAH, I say!

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