Wednesday, December 1, 2010

"Radvent Journal" December 2010

I'm participating in Princess Lasertron's December 2010 Radvent Journal project!  I started making a visual diary last night but I'm not sure I will have time for that every day with all of my crazy projects!  So how about one visual diary entry a week, and I will try to keep a text version up here every day.

Since they will be long entries, click the link below the image to read my response!

I'm not going to go into too much detail with this one because it is hard to share so much online.  In December 2005, I had just moved to Houston a few months prior to live near my then-boyfriend-now-husband.  It was a challenging few months, the change in distance definitely changed our relationship and my job was very stressful.  I was having a hard time making friends because of the hours my job asked me to work (evenings and weekends).  Let's just say, 2005-2007 were hard years for me!

The other night I was working on a scrapbook of my time in Houston and I realized I literally have no pictures from those two years.  I have some pictures from work (but not many).  I know I had an old camera until summer 2006, so that might explain some of it, but why no pictures from 2006-2007?  I take so many pictures of my life.  I wonder if there is a correlation for me between how many pictures I take and how happy I am.  Suddenly, in the winter of 2007-2008, I have a burst of pictures.

I didn't know what I wanted out of life, I was just kind of doing the next thing that came my way, and it seemed to fit in with my skills.  I was trying to learn to be an adult.  Today, five years ago, I finished getting my own car insurance, which I felt was the mark of being pretty much financially independent from my parents (I guess, not including the cell phone, haha).

There were some good times, definitely, but this Fall was very hard for me.  I wasn't yet in the swing of things, I didn't have a routine or a friend base, and I didn't really know who I was.

This summer I moved to New York with my husband for his job, which kind of parallels that 2005 move.  But I'm in a much different position this time.  Now we are making friends together as a couple, trying to find other couples to be friends with.  He doesn't hang out with people from work as much as he used to hang out with people from his graduate program, so I don't feel as much an outsider at our social gatherings.  I have a career that I'm trying to build and a direction I feel like I'm moving in, so I feel a lot more grounded than before.  I also have perspective I didn't have then, and a sense of awareness of my limitations and abilities.  I also understand, I don't have to put up with certain things in my life, like certain kinds of stress from/about a job, and I feel a lot more confident in myself because of that knowledge.

I feel a lot older than I did five years ago.  It's funny to say that.  Five years isn't a long time.  I wonder when I'm 80 will I say I feel a lot older than 75.  I hope not!

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