Sunday, December 7, 2008

Professional Progress Reviews

I haven't had mine yet.  It's later this afternoon.  I am SO NERVOUS.  Last night I was sitting at dinner and my stomach felt weird and my palms were sweaty and clammy.  I said, "I feel weird."  JewishGuy asked what did I mean weird.  And I said, "Give me a minute, I will think of the word."  And after a little bit of contemplation I said, "Anxious?"  At which point he reminded me that I had my progress review coming up tomorrow (today).

Every time I think of it I get really nervous, my heart races and my palms sweat.

The weird thing is, I think I am doing pretty well in the program.  My exams come back with good grades, my papers are not returned for revision, my presentations seem to go over well, I participate in every class, I am on time and my assignments are on time, and so on.  But the idea of 6 faculty members sitting around me and talking about me TO/WITH me makes me EXTREMELY nervous.  Also, they have all prepared packets with their feedback that I am supposed to read before I go in front of them.

I am more nervous than I was at my interview.

Everyone is really nervous.  I'm trying not to talk about it too much with everyone because I don't want to feed other people's nerves.  So here I am, writing about it on my art blog, even though it's not necessarily the right place for it.

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